Moments of Epiphany

A moment of realization….

Sometimes we have moments of realization that define who we are and what our priorities are at any given stage of our lives.

I had one such moment about 15 years ago.

I was living in a very expensive apartment above the shops of Mizner Park, ‘the’ place to be in Boca Raton, Fl. at the time. I was working as the City Manager for a very exclusive town along the shore in Palm Beach County. I was in a prestigious position, rubbing elbows with the elite, you know, those who “dined” rather than ate. I served visitors on my Limoges luncheon plates and never thought twice about it. I was high steppin’ for sure.

I was at lunch with a companion one day at one of the many bistros we frequented and the conversation turned to where we had eaten the day before. Just one day before mind you. We could not remember. Then a few minutes later, I recalled that we had eaten at the Ritz Carlton in Ocean Ridge. Not just any Ritz but the oceanfront magnificent hotel.

Earlier that month, my sister Rose, who at the time was pretty strapped for money and not used to the better things, called to tell me that my brother Bonny had stopped by unannounced and took her to the Sheraton for lunch. She would remember this day and the amazing meal for years to come.

It hit me. Who had I become that I couldn’t even remember eating at one of the most amazing places in the world the day before? Who was this person who was born in the Bronx and had come from pretty humble beginnings after my mother was widowed very young with seven children to feed. What a wakeup call.

I realized that I had become what I did and not who I was. I had allowed what I did, “my job”, define me and created an entire lifestyle to match. That was the moment when I realized that I wanted a “life” and not a “lifestyle”. From that moment on, I intentionally nurtured my relationships with those I love and spent less time on those who I was trying to impress.

In my current profession, I spend my time seeing those who are less fortunate in material belongings, but strong in spirit, in faith and in those things that are everlasting. Any you know what? Those are the things that bring me joy now. Those are the things that matter!

I am left with the remnants of my “things” stage but look at them differently now. I look at my Waterford lamps and think just how many mosquito nets they could have bought to save children in Africa from malaria. They’re just things. I need to learn how to market on e-bay so that I can transform those things that are meaningless now into more useful service to others.

Besides, they just remind me of the person I never want to be again.

Thanks be to God for teaching me that a “lifestyle” can never replace having a “life”.

Don’t ever confuse the two and make that mistake.